A Live One
Most of us got into this work because of one simple desire: to help people. Take yourself back to the beginning of your journey as a therapist. What has always given you an adrenaline rush? Think about the high after a session when you tell yourself, “I’m meant to do this!” These are the times you know you’ve actually made a difference.
Assuming you’re a real life, in-the-trenches therapist - you’ve borne witness to countless heartaches and stood in the shadows between despair and hope. You know more than most that change isn’t linear.
Sometimes it’s dark, even for you - the hope holder. You don’t mind the pain though - especially when it’s easy to see therapeutic rays of light. You’re there when a client finally grieves for all the years and tears they didn’t cry - it’s so good! This open heart starts to tolerate emotion and grows in its capacity for love. These are the moments your professional self lives for.
But what about the times that both you and your client can’t see progress? In fact, sometimes you worry you’re going backwards.
A day in the life of a therapist might be something like being an ER doctor - it doesn't matter that you saved a life in the morning…if in your last session you weren’t able to revive a heart, it clouds your entire day.
If you have enough disheartening sessions, you lose steam. You need a live one.
The story I’m about to tell, I first heard from Kenny Sanderfer (my mentor). I think the origin of it is from George Faller (EFT Trainer and former NYC firefighter).
During the aftermath of 9/11, the search and rescue dogs were starting to get depressed because they couldn’t find any live bodies in the rubble. They were slow and stopped working. In order to keep them going, firefighters played dead and hid in the rubble so they could find “a live one.”
As therapists, the fuel that keeps us going, and will forever keep us going - is a live one.
We have a tradition in our group practice. Every now and then, we share “A Live One.” We celebrate wins and get really specific when we do. When one therapist shares a win, we know it’s not bragging. It’s fuel for our entire team to keep going.
We need to stay in this work because it matters.
Say it out loud - what’s your Live One? You might have to dig deep and remember something you quickly filed away because you had to tackle the next crisis.
Do you remember the client that hugged you and said, “You mean so much to me. Thank you!”
Or the client who emailed you and said, “We had a win this week, and I just wanted you to know! We couldn’t have done this without you.” Or how about the client that referred their best friend to you because they can’t think of anyone else they would trust?
Reread it, revisit it - do whatever you need to do to remind your whole body of the Live One. This is the fuel that keeps you going.
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